My Place.

I NEED TO WRITE

Nothing really pains more than this little thing that I hold in my hand. Its a bit of light blue, green and yellow. Some letters that entange that would make little sense to anyone but a few.

Ive kept it hidden, lost

but it always finds its way back to me in the lonely hours.

What it feels like to be worried about, or care, or to be loved.

What it feels like when what you do matters.

When you had the choice to make or break.

Now its just a reminder of how little it was, how fast it fades, how small it mattered. Everything.

So I tried it agian, for like the 4th time in my life. Its always after you try it you think to yourself “Why did I do this? Its awful”, So that was it, that was the last time and im never doing it again. Its not as great as people say, on the contrary it makes you feel dumb, little, and all that other bad stuff. People are confusing discomfort with something great to use as an excuse to pretend theres something amazing when there isnt.

I have writers block, Well not really.

I have tons to write, a little too much.

Thats overwhelming. So im just lazy.

Ahhhh

I wanted to write a lot, I thought it all out …. but…. I didnt. =]

And I feel good about it, I dont think being a dick and hurting other peoples feelings will really make my situation any better. Well maybe id feel better, its a good idea to just lash out or tell people whats on your mind but I feel more human not doing it. Its probably going to just swim inside me, bother me later on and cause some problems but ill deal with it.

It probably helps…. The whole being true to yourself, and saying whats on your mind and acting on how you feel…. BUT I dont think it justifies being a douche bag.

—————-

I feel more embarrassed than hurt, Well im hurt too. What a crappy day.

but regardless, …. something something something. Im done.

The less I write the better.

Now ive lost control…….., Of my mind , of my soul.

and then she came along, gonna sing a song.

dont leave me lonely, completely lonely.

I got this girl in my head,

why would I want someone less of extraordinary.

id like to earn your respect, but I cant handle suspense.

When you start to absorb and start to love me, we can stop this world

and do it slowly.

If you got the time, turn the night around and do what she likes.

Dont leave me lonely, my one and only.

You said monogamy’s dead, guess you dont know me.

Stop staring , so I keep my eyes on the floor.

Im feeling better, im feeling lucky.

I got this girl in my head.

Why would I want someone less of extraordinary.

Id like to earn your respect, but I cant handle suspense.